Back to The Garden
I joined the United States Infantry on February 28, 2008, through the National Guard’s “Active First” program. This program is an eight-year enlistment, with four years of active duty followed by four years of Guard service with an option to stay active (which is what I ended up doing). Before I left for basic training in Fort Benning Georgia, I spent a couple of months in a pre-basic National Guard platoon where I was able to gain rank from E-1 to E-2, and was offered a deal (that I ended up not taking and later regretted). My acting First Sergeant offered to change my enlistment path from “Enlisted Soldier” to “Officer Candidate.” At the time, I did not realize what he was really offering until it was too late.
I share this because I want you to understand that I couldn’t see clearly at that time in my life. At one point, I would have told you that I joined the military solely to run away from God. The reality, however, is that I was running away from my father. I idolized my dad as much as I did God, so, a scolding from him seemed like it was coming from the mouth of God Himself. When he said I “screwed up” multiple times on my very first Sunday morning sermon, it was as if God Himself was the one who was disappointed. I never gave this hurt to the Lord and it ultimately grew into the reason why I joined the military. When my First Sergeant offered me a much better option (to an already bad decision), I could not see it. In my heart, I had to prove to myself and God that I was tough. I sought to prove that I could succeed in my own strength, and strove to do just that for the next six years until my mind literally broke. I had become someone God never designed me to be.
For a very long time, I felt an inexpressible amount of guilt and shame from my past decisions, while crazy voices in my head told me I was weak, fake, and good for nothing but death in a hole (sometimes these feelings and voices still try to rear their heads). I gave myself over to spiritual evil and all that pertains to it.
Jude 1:8-13 puts it this way:
8 In the very same way, on the strength of their dreams these ungodly people pollute their own bodies, reject authority and heap abuse on celestial beings. 9 But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” 10 Yet these people slander whatever they do not understand, and the very things they do understand by instinct—as irrational animals do—will destroy them. 11 Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed for profit into Balaam’s error; they have been destroyed in Korah’s rebellion. 12 These people are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead. 13 They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.”
This verse has many important implications, but the one I want to draw from it today is this: In my anger, I took the way of Cain. God’s design was never for me or anyone else to ever follow the way of Cain. His design was and is for us to live with Him in the garden (not outside of it under the curse). By Adam, a mistake was made, and we were put outside where we reside today (Romans 5:12).
Since we live under the curse, we need a way out of it and back into the garden (Romans 5:15-17).
Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world is the only way to bring us back to the garden to dwell with Him. His redemption means that we no longer have to follow after the way of Cain, but rather dwell with Him. If you are living in the way of Cain, (news flash, we all have been there - [Romans 3:23]), you don’t want to die on this path. This also means if you have been saved by the Blood of Jesus, have been baptized into His death, and hope to be united with him in resurrection (Romans 6:1-14), then going back to the way of Cain will only lead to the second death (2 Peter 2:20-22). Again, this was never meant to be part of what God has for us, so living this way is not only extremely damaging to ourselves and those we love, but can carry consequences that last past our own lifetime.
Your story may be a messy one; one that you’re not happy with. Perhaps you don’t even understand why. You may have made some very bad choices, even some that could (or did) land you in prison. The truth is, at some level, this describes everyone (regardless of what the justification may be). If you are on the path of Cain, and you need a way out, repent, and invite Jesus into your heart today. He truly is the only way.
If you already know Jesus and returned to the way of Cain, I can’t encourage you enough to repent and return to Jesus before it’s too late, and you become a tree that has died twice (Jude 1:12)
In closing, I want to leave you with this. In the last chapter of the book of Joshua (right before his death), God speaks through him to all of Israel in this amazing speech about how God was the one responsible for freeing them from their bondage. Afterward, in verses 14 & 15 He states
14 “Now fear the LORD and serve Him with sincerity and faithfulness. Put away the gods your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord. 15 If it is displeasing to you to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve, if it should be the gods your fathers served beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites’ land where you are now living. Yet as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
God is a God of redemption. Israel never deserved all that God did for them, but because of His love for them, freed them anyway. He only asks one thing of us: Serve Him alone, with sincerity and faithfulness. No longer go after your own way; which is the way of Cain, but rather serve Him with true sincerity and faithfulness. To understand what that looks like, take time to read the scriptures and seek Jesus’ face daily. His gift of grace and inheritance in His Kingdom are offered freely to those who ask, and fully know that Jesus is the only way. If you truly want salvation from death, your past, and bondage, choose Jesus this day because your life really depends on Him.
