The Invisible War
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms”. Ephesians 6:12
In my last post, I talked about how my unworked-through issues became bondage that held me captive. I was enslaved because it had control over me, and it displayed itself mostly through anger, anxiety, and depression. These reactions were triggered by the smallest things such as sitting in traffic or the smell of ketchup, and at times, I would react very strongly. Once, I said some very hurtful things to my wife. She exploded back at me and kicked a hole through the wall as she left the house. Normally this was not her reaction, but constant stress and oppression have a way of doing this to us (which I take full responsibility for).
I share this because our life has been this way for the past eleven years with very little respite. Sure, my wife and kids did not always respond correctly, but considering what they had to deal with, I don’t know how they kept it together as well as they did. What really took me by surprise in this whole ordeal was that even though a great relief came when Jesus broke the chains in my life, the struggles did not just go away like I had thought and hoped. It seems that God allows us to go through trials (hard times) to serve as a way of purifying us through Himself. This concept is hard to understand (and none of us will fully grasp it in this life), but the idea behind it is found in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
“3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6 And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete”.
It is one of the hardest things to do at first, but by renewing our minds daily in this way (as it says in Romans 12:2), we will be able to stand strong through it. That means that no matter what the struggle or bondage in your life is, through Christ’s blood we have the strength to conquer it rather than succumbing to it. This deeper view began to take shape a few weeks ago for me when I had a V.A. appointment for my ankle. I have long known the words that I shared, but never the understanding of them. I couldn’t see it on a spiritual level then.
Looking back, my wife would advise me to fight harder (spiritually speaking) during these attacks, but as much as I tried, I had very little success. God, however, is faithful to continue the work He started (Philippians 1:6). This was very evident during my last trip to the V.A. hospital. It is a miracle because normally, just the two letters together “V.A.” would be enough to trigger some very severe responses.
The morning my wife took me to the V.A. hospital for my appointment, some very good friends of ours were so gracious to watch our kids because we could not take them due to Covid restrictions. I was very anxious and temperamental with them as we were all trying to get ready to leave. My wife noticed this before I did and tried to tell me multiple times. She also attempted to explain that I am often short fused before my V.A. appointments, but due to the feeling that a Christian should not struggle like this, I tried to fight it off like usual. As we dropped off our kids, I said goodbye, but got snappy with my oldest. I later apologized to her, but at the moment, I did not realize it was due to my anxiety. Afterward, I started to break down mentally, but this was not like the times before. There was no out-of-control anger this time. The anxiety (that feels like a heart attack) was absent too. About fifteen minutes down the road, I started to weep and put my head between my legs. My wife put her hand on me and it was in this moment, that I started to accept that unless the Lord chooses to heal me miraculously, I may, (and most likely will) struggle with TBI and PTSD for the rest of my life. This realization was a huge deal for me because I have been through so much counseling thinking I would eventually overcome the TBI and PTSD and never struggle with them again. But the truth of the matter is: freedom and strength are found in accepting that Jesus has already conquered it on the cross in Himself (Isaiah 53:4). He did what I could not, and he gives strength in my weakness (Isaiah 40:29).
Over the last two weeks, God has been bringing so much healing with my wife, kids, and in every area of my life. This came through both the recognition and acceptance that I really do have these issues, and in my own strength, I cannot overcome them no matter how hard I try. This reminds me of John 16:33 where Jesus says:
“In this life, we will have struggles”.
God had to make it clear to me that I am not above what He says and establishes. This means I can truly be a saved Christian and still have real struggles in this life. The difference now is that my struggles no longer have the power to control me.
1 Corinthians 15:53-58 says:
“53 For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” 55 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
God’s love for us was never based on how successful we are or how well we deal with our issues. The truth is no one would ever be able to live up to His standard anyway (Romans 3:10-12), but we find our hope in Jesus. Romans 5:8 says:
“But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I’m sharing this with you because no matter how much pain and suffering your burden is causing you, your path to healing is found only in Jesus.
Isaiah 53:5 says:
“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds, we are healed”.
In your trial or struggle (whatever it may be), please be honest with yourself and God about it. Share it with someone who loves Jesus and can love you properly in what you are dealing with. This is very humbling, but necessary if you truly want to heal. Using Exodus 17:8-16 as an example: The Israelites were fighting the Amalekites at Rephidim. As they fought, Moses would hold his staff in the air, and they would be winning the battle. When his arms got tired and his staff went down, they would start losing the battle. Talk about the huge burden he was carrying. A whole lot of lives were depending on that staff staying in the air. And like we all get at times; he could not hold the weight on his own. Joshua and Hur saw that the only way was to bring a rock for Moses to sit on while they both supported his arms to help keep that staff in the air.
The rock that he sat on is a great analogy for Jesus (Acts 4:11-12), and his friends held his hands steady in the air. This goes along with what Galatians 6:2 says: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ”. The staff symbolizes faith. If you knew that the only way you and your family would make it out alive was by holding up your staff in the air, I’ll bet you would rest on that rock too, and would not be afraid to ask your brothers to help in your weakness. We need to truly know that Jesus is the only way. No matter what you are carrying; don’t carry it alone anymore. Jesus Christ, the God of this universe wants to meet you right in your struggles. While he invites us to be perfect as his father in Heaven is perfect, he does not ask us to not struggle. He is the only True Rock to stand on, and by God's design, we need our brothers and sisters in the Lord to help us to stay the course of faith in Him.
Put all your faith in Him because He truly cares for you.
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
