Unresolved Issues Cause Unwanted Bondage
“For a man is a slave to whatever controls him.”
-2 Peter 2:19b
About a year ago I was asked to serve as a junior high/high school group leader at a spring retreat. I really wanted to but was hesitant because I struggle with a high amount of anxiety caused from PTSD. I still struggle to this day, but just about a year ago I could not fully accept it. While in that mindset, I had always pushed my struggles to the side in full confidence I could force myself free. So, I did as I had always done and tried to ignore the truth. This did not work well because as the time got closer, the peace I started with was fading away as anxiety was settling in. The night before the retreat I prayed really hard for no anxiety attacks. I thought it would be a good idea to remind God I was doing this for Him just in case He forgot. The next morning my anxiety did not get any better. I was very anxious and found it extremely hard to think about anything else. I showed up early so I could attend the leaders meeting before the kids arrived. I walked into the building and found the room where the meeting was being held. After all the volunteers were seated, we started with everyone going around the room introducing ourselves. At this point all my thoughts were racing around my head and I could not focus. When the turn got to my assistant group leader, the director of the camp introduced her as the one with the brains and me with the bronze. As funny as this is now, it was not funny at the time because it triggered me (A trigger is something that reminds you of a bad memory/experience that can lead to an unstable mind). When he said this, he didn’t know I had struggled my whole life with only being recognized by my physical strength and not in anything else. Anyone that has delt with or knows someone who has delt with anxiety knows that whatever the situation is, your response is usually more extreme than it should be. That is how I felt in this situation, and I ended up not being able to handle it very well. I walked out to my car and called my wife. I told her I did not think I could lead the group and it was a mistake for me to have even tried. My wife spoke very kindly to me like she usually does as she talked me off the ledge yet again. Before we hung up, she prayed for me while in my mind I was contemplating if I really could do this or not. I ended up staying and participating even though I was not fully their mentally. I was still very much offended by what the director had said, and I was not able to forgive him for some time. This is because I blamed him for my anxiety I had instead of being able to recognize my reaction was due to my unresolved issues, not in what he said. Now, a year later he is one of my closest friends and I’m looking forward to this year’s camp retreat. I know your story is probably different from mine, but I am sharing this with you because whatever the burden is that you’re carrying, it no longer needs be your master (2 Peter 2:19). This is because we are only responsible for working out our own salvation/issues with God (Philippians 2:12), and not forcing it on our offenders. I am not saying their actions were right or wrong, but rather their offense won’t have power over you anymore in Jesus’ name
By following God this way, you will sometimes feel misunderstood or not seen at all based on where your heart is at. Hopefully it is not always this way, but if it is, don’t let your offenders unresolved issues became your bondage either.
If this is where you are at today, please don’t ignore it or let pride shut the door on your path to healing. No matter what it is you are struggling with, please know that you are not alone. What you are going through is real, it’s tough and it can steal your joy. I have been seeking freedom in every area of my life for so long and have been so unsuccessful. This has been until Jesus become Lord of my life and removed my burdens with His blood. This payment He made is not based on our past or what we are currently going through, but rather His love for us (Romans 5:5-9). The best part about His freedom is it is not earned or held on by anything you can do. It also does not mean we won’t struggle ever again either. But rather we have a scape goat for our bondage/sin and a real foundation to stand on, Jesus our Rock. If you want His freedom, you must be 100% honest with yourself and Him about what you’re struggling with, even if you are still questioning His existence. Please call out to Him today in the center of all your muddy burdens and watch Him change your life forever, because He has already conquered it in Himself on the cross 2,000 years ago.
“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
1 Peter 2:24-25
